A weekly round up

Goodness me, this week has flown by! I had a big work event which took up most of Tuesday and all of Wednesday so, again, I had no time for blogging. Be reassured though, my little forum here is never far from the forefront of my mind, so I try to document events big and small ready for when I have a few moments to write.

I am really going to try to keep it to a few moments tonight because I’m desperately trying to finish a crochet project that needs to be gifted on Tuesday at another work event, happily a more relaxed affair this time. I’m sure I’ll have lots to report on next time about that. Needless to say, I’m not going to show you what I’m working on in case the recipient should read this in advance!

The week started with a very special delivery.

 

Yep, it’s another Eeyore! This isn’t just any old Eeyore though. He’s a limited edition Steiff Eeyore. He’s number four hundred and thirty six of only two thousand made. He’s sitting on our bed at the moment, but he’s mainly going to live in his box to avoid damaging him.

So, on to Tuesday and my work event. We had an evening event and meal with an overnight stay before our conference the next day. As well as being an Account Manager, I’m also responsible for Communications which means that I organise our events. This event needed less organisation than some but I had recommended and booked the hotel we used and had booked our evening event so I was keen for it to be a success.

The hotel was the Macdonald Burlington in the centre of Birmingham and I would definitely recommend it.

I opened the door to my room and actually stopped dead in the doorway. The room was huge! Really huge! Almost intimidatingly so.

F186ABD8-48D4-45B8-B545-86AB50DA07F8

95E3D74B-C138-4DC9-9D1F-FE3F2924D900

See that coffee table at the foot of the bed? Hmmm …. I didn’t when I got up to go to the loo at 4am! Ouch!

It was a little distance to our evening event and there was some debate over whether we would walk or grab a cab, but I’m so glad we walked because I’d forgotten some of the hidden charms of Brum.

AF349D8B-1D7B-42F4-ACF5-CB521B27F4CC64E403EA-472B-4C92-A1F5-ECB3D0520104A5FCA202-2924-42A0-8198-90D725CDCA4D

Our event was crazy golf with a difference. It’s called Ghetto Golf and as well as the Birmingham course, there’s one in Liverpool. It’s indoor, eighteen holes with various themes such as a bus, a Blockbusters video store and a skittle alley. The tunes are playing loud and it’s a licensed premises.

0F185450-93A2-49AA-8E85-27285D8D0ED435F9633D-45ED-4B0F-9C1E-94B207936BC611E0F912-EF06-4919-9FC3-4F7DCC605B45

We ate at a restaurant called Buffalo and Rye, which was in keeping with the tone of Ghetto Golf. I had Buttermilk Chicken Tacos with Asian Street Fries and it was amazing! We didn’t sit down to eat until nine o’clock and I was so hungry by then I completely forgot to take a photo!

The main event on Wednesday was somewhat exhausting, but it was a success all round. I had to talk about my product and I was keen to make the best impression that I could, which I think I managed reasonably well. Lots of people, I know, find speaking in front of a group difficult, and you would think that I would be one of those people, being an introvert and not the best at self promotion, but I’m actually pretty comfortable with it. Admittedly I spend a long time making sure I’m well prepared, but as someone who is naturally quiet, and who finds it difficult to push herself to the forefront, I enjoy being in a position where people have to listen to what I’ve got to say without me having to assert myself to get to that position.

Thursday passed by in a pretty exhausted, uneventful blur until I was about to collapse into bed when an unfortunate accident resulted in this.

0DE1A00F-EB03-41AD-B523-FC6652283A6B

Good job I instinctively closed my eye, isn’t it? It was a feline related accident involving Tinkerbell jumping off the wardrobe aiming for my shoulder as usual, but me not realising she was jumping and turning to walk away resulting in a crash! I’m not sure which part of her hit me, but it felt like I’d been punched in the face. That cut isn’t the result of a claw, my skin split with the impact! It’s on the mend though, it looks a lot better today, and it doesn’t hurt anymore.

In garden news, my Sunflower seedlings have now got big enough that I can see them from our back bedroom.

F8069312-58A3-4687-83FF-52D10592F8D1

Can you see them? In the green pots just to the left of the ladybird. The seedlings are all coming along well.

 

I need to read up on what to do next! This is the first time I’ve grown anything from seed so I need to find out when I need to pot them on, and how to go about hardening them off before they go outside and how big they need to be before I can plant them out. I wonder if we’ve had the last frost yet?

My Eupatorium shoots are starting to look decidedly leaf-like.

F24F7DD6-B3F5-4E9F-AD09-41D83055CEF0.jpeg

I’m still nervous about something trampling them so I’m leaving the dead wood there until the new shoots are big enough to look after themselves.

My Geum has quite a few new leaves and a couple of buds which look like they’re not far off starting to bloom.

F7596F3C-B342-48F6-96B5-92787C5F3C16

Bizarrely, it looks like the flower is going to be yellow. Bizarre only because last year I’m sure the flowers were bright orange! Maybe I’m mistaken, or maybe the colour will change.

There’s lots of colour appearing. I’ll share more once we’re further into the season, but here are a couple of spoilers!

84F1E5B8-9424-4036-ACAA-8527B604B89ED30EAE4C-2EF3-4306-BA82-0F3BA3FA4D53

The top picture is our Pieris which we inherited with the house. It’s pretty spectacular now, but give it a fortnight or so and it’ll take your breath away.

The second pic is my wild flower. I still don’t know what it is, but I’m very intrigued now it’s got two different colour flowers! I can’t wait till all those little buds have opened.

Right, must get back to crocheting, so all that is left for me to do is to wish my husband a very happy birthday …..

83DD3FDD-8C0A-44B6-8DEA-6C0B6D743FD0

….. and apologise for the Peppa Pig wrapping paper!

Fight or flight

This post would’ve been very different had I written it this morning. It’s amazing the difference a day can make to your outlook and positivity.

I told you about my promotion back in September in what I seem to remember was a somewhat upbeat post. Since then I’ve been plugging away, learning my trade, climbing the steepest learning curve I’ve ever been on and, to be frank, it’s flipping hard!

Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely made the right choice in pursuing the next step in my career. I was bored, getting highly complacent, far too comfortable and was a couple of droplets of swamp water away from complete stagnation. I did the right thing, but I have days when I doubt myself.

It’s very similar to being single. When I was single I’d have a massive high when I got a message from an attractive member of the opposite sex on Dating Direct, almost immediately followed by a crash back down to earth when he turned out to be a racist/psychopath/raving lunatic/sexist pig/total dingbat (delete as appropriate). That’s what learning to be an Account Manager is like, as is scientifically demonstrated above using empirical, soundly reasoned data (definitely not just nice round numbers plucked from the air to illustrate my point!)

I have days when things are going well, I’ve snuck a couple of inches up that learning curve and my confidence is flying with the birds and I drive home singing along to the Mamma Mia: Here we go again soundtrack at the top of my voice and then, bam! Something happens the next day, I realise I’ve not understood a nuance, or I’m asked to do something I completely don’t understand, or I get an email telling me I’m being unreasonable and should know better and down I crash, bringing my confidence level to ground zero.

This is when I have to overcome the woe is me feeling, regroup, sleep on it, decide what to do about it, and come back fighting. I’m not very good at the flight option, low as my confidence may get, once I’ve beaten myself up for a while, the real me struggles through and I forge on. I may not possess all the positive qualities that I’d like, but I am determined and I am resilient and once I have started on a path, I want to reach my destination, even if it means going round the wrekin to get there. The aim is to get to the green line on the scientific chart. Slightly wobbly to negate complete arrogance, but essentially brimming with confidence.

I won an award at work several years ago. I have to admit that I was only half listening to the presentation speech because it didn’t occur to me that the award might be coming my way, but one word that I did hear used to describe me has stuck with me ever since – stoic. The guy who gave this compliment is certainly not free and easy with his praise which, when it comes, makes it all the more sweet.

Yep, that’s me! I don’t profess to have endured any real hardship in the traditional sense of the word, but yes, I’ve had knock backs at work but I haven’t given up, I haven’t become bitter, I’ve used the ensuing feelings to fuel my way and prove my worth.

The same person also said to me more recently that I’m very good with people and that our customers appreciate that. This was a higher compliment to me than I think it was intended to be. I am not a natural people person. At all! I’ve had to work really hard to learn the skill. Earlier this week I took a return flight to Frankfurt and both ways I had a window seat and nobody immediately next to me. My heart gave a little jump for joy when I heard the captain announce ‘boarding complete, cabin crew prepare for departure’ and realised there were no more potential headspace invaders heading down the aisle in my direction. Excellent, nobody to studiously ignore! Blissful alone time to watch episodes of the Crown uninterrupted by mindless, unnecessary chatter. I’ve watched other people making small talk and they seem to thrive on it. Not me, I’m the classic introvert and I need time alone when I don’t have to pretend to be something I’m not.

I’m very lucky to have had excellent support through my life. I’m surrounded by people who have my back, but I wish I could step out of myself and into one of them sometimes to see how they see me. They seem to be under the impression that I could rule the world if I put my mind to it whereas I’m only too aware of my limitations. I’m perfectly capable of ruling my own world, but no woman is an island, and my world can’t exist independently of other worlds which I can’t rule.

I’ve never thought of myself as someone with low confidence, but I realise now that that’s because I’ve never found anything particularly difficult so I’ve never had reason to doubt myself. Surely everyone’s confident about things they’re good at? I’ve never really been out of my comfort zone until now. I sailed through school floating somewhere in the middle where no one really bothers you, college was two years of fun with a bit of work thrown in for good measure and then uni was hard work but still firmly within my comfort zone because fifteen years of education had given me the tools to manage pretty much any educational setting. After that I faffed around with a couple of simple jobs until I ended up with the company I’m still with now, where I continued to faff around until I realised I was pushing forty and that life wasn’t going to give me a leg up, I needed to apply myself. I needed to be proactive. This again isn’t a natural trait of mine. Towards the beginning of my time with my current employer I was made aware that someone had described me as not very proactive – I can’t remember who told me, but I’ve always remembered who said it, and it pops into my head every time I bump into him in the kitchen. I guess home truths cut deeper.

Anyhoo, onwards and upwards. Today was an up on the chart after yesterday was a down. I will continue skywards on my mahoosive learning curve. I will attempt to bolster, no, I WILL bolster my confidence, on the down days I will remember the buzz of the up days, I will be strong and I will do this. I feel like I should burst into a Gloria Gaynor song, but hubby’s asleep next to me so I’ll refrain! As Seven of Nine would say resistance is futile!

Decluttering for my sanity

I had a really uneasy feeling when we got home from our trip to Malta.

EB022596-C6CF-4E96-8F12-C1A07F076EF9

(I mentioned it, so I’m showing it!)

Anyway, uneasy, as if I’d forgotten to pay a bill, or missed a really important meeting, but I hadn’t forgotten anything so I couldn’t work out why I felt that way, or more importantly, how to stop it.

I still don’t know for certain what the problem was, but I think it’s to do with work. I was in my previous role for sixteen years so to say I was in my comfort zone is somewhat of an understatement. I could pick it up after a holiday without skipping a beat, and I could let myself linger in the holiday blues without it affecting my performance, but things are different now. I now have a lot more autonomy and a lot more responsibility and I can’t rest on my laurels. I’m still somewhere near the bottom of a steep learning curve, and I guess, when I’m away from it, subconsciously my brain worries about my return in case I’m revealed as an imposter Account Manager!

I’m back in the game now and had a good week, but my head was feeling cluttered. My Dad’s good friend has a saying which perfectly illustrates this feeling. She says that her shelves are full. Well, my shelves were bowing under the weight this week so I took action! I decluttered!

Yesterday I worked from home and I spent some time organising my email. I had a couple of furry helpers.

601E7A14-8322-4904-8062-AD8AAC4AC49F.jpeg

I created sub folders and filed loads of emails away, I read all the unread items in my inbox and took any action required, and I cleared my deleted mails down. I get lots of emails relevant to my old role that I no longer need and lots of mails that just say ‘thanks’ or ‘ok’ that I preview in the reading pane and then delete without opening. This had led to a big blue ‘643’ next to the deleted folder which was just adding to the weight on my shelves. It was like those little blue dots you get under apps that you’ve updated – I can’t leave those there either, they just bother me. I went through and deleted my unread deleted.

After work I continued the decluttering. I was on a roll, and with every item of clothing I added to the charity shop bag and every piece of rubbish I put in the bin I felt lighter. I now have a black bag of clothes, shoes and bags and two piles of books to go to the charity shop and we took an entire boot full of rubbish to the tip.

D52C89A4-32AE-4C7A-99FA-8A539F81529E

I went through pretty much every cupboard and drawer in the house and cleaned out all of our belongings which were surplus to requirements. I was pretty ruthless – I felt the need to be.

I have an empty washing basket, a non existent ironing pile, a rearranged kitchen which looks much neater and I’ve finally hung up the quilt that my Mum made us for Christmas.

CE74F6FA-6EE1-4579-BAD1-92A1407C160B.jpeg

Isn’t it amazing!

And I have space on my bookcase for my patiently waiting Little Boxes of Crochet.

919545A5-38BB-4810-97FE-8077DB81AAF4.jpeg

Speaking of crochet, I have finished the baby blanket that I’ve been working on for my new baby niece, Emmeline, and just in the nick of time because we’re meeting her for the first time tomorrow afternoon.

81BE2F75-F05E-4D6A-9696-11ED419603CE9C030CDC-2BAA-424C-AB14-3A696C736083

I’m taking a chance that the recipient’s parents will be too busy taking care of their new bundle of joy to read this before tomorrow afternoon. This is one more thing ticked off my to do list.

As well as work, my head is full of half-evolved ideas of garden projects so I popped out there (after four thirty pm and it was still light – whoop) to try and evolve my plans so I can put them into action and cross them off my list – more on that later – and while I was out there I had to have a look at my wakening plants.

My daffs are yawning and stretching and are moments away from waking up and showing us their beautiful flowers, and, remember I couldn’t remember what I’d planted in front of the daffs? Well look! They’re crocuses! Isn’t nature clever?

81C698C5-3D02-4C10-B2B4-317DF85EB977

My rose ‘Hot Chocolate’ is happily growing some new leaves …

F6266C7E-786C-4545-960F-946F9CE76B88

… and the bluebells continue to push up round the edges of our gravelled bistro.

Spring is most definitely springing and it makes me happy. Can’t wait to get out there and continue with the grand master plan!